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Handling Abusive Surprise

All these years my work always involved dealing with youth who have left their old ways and made a commitment to follow Christ. Just as old habits die hard, so also the old friends. They have to keep the old companies for various reasons. They live in the same neighbourhood, they are the same college and there could be various ways they share their spaces. There are times of conflict as their conversion brings in new moral demands different from that of their friends. For example, a new believer in Christ who was a chain smoker finds it difficult to keep the friendship of his fellow smokers. Peter wrote to first generation Christians who were in a similar situation: "They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you" (1 Peter 4:4).
Unable to enjoy the company of the new believer, the friends begin to abuse that person. Many of us who had to part with sinful ways of life when we embraced the new life in Christ may still remember some hurting abusive words that we had to endure. However, the encouraging thing is that this abuse is the result of their surprise. Friends who shared their sinful ways with us are surprised that one of them could break away with those ways and start a new life! If our lives have caused that surprise then the abuse can be ignored.

However, this surprise and the abuse may not last long too. Moreover, it may have positive results as this story about a young soldier that I read long time ago illustrates. A young man who lived a very bad life joined the army and there he accepted Jesus as his personal saviour through the army chaplain. A few months later he had to go home and he was afraid that his old friends waiting for his return might drag him back to his life before Christ. His Chaplain had a very good advise for him. He told him not to keep his conversion a secret and let his friends know about it.

As he landed in the railway station he met one of his friends who offered him a cigar as he always used to do. This young man not only politely refused it but also told him that he is a new creation. The friend laughed at him and hurled insults at him as he walked away. Then he meets another friend who invites him to have a drink in order to celebrate his return. He not only refused it but also told him why as a follower of Christ he should not do that. The news spread in his small town that he is different. The prostitute whom he used to visit spotted him in the market and hurled insults at him. As he walked past the pub people came out and made painful comments about him. But nobody dared to force him to get back to the old ways. They had given up on him; that was a new freedom! However, it had a cost: abusive surprise.

If we can give our sinful companions a surprise, then the abuses are worth it. What is important is to shock (or embarrass) them with the radical change in our lives.
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